Sing it with me: it's all about me, it's all about me...
So, tell me I'm not the only one who constantly assigns bad motives to everyone around me: mother, sisters, in-laws, husband, little bitty children, strangers in the grocery line. Please? Say it isn't just me.
I don't know what the heck's the matter with me. Married to the same man for the last 10 years and how often do I misjudge him? I can't answer that on the grounds that it might incriminate me (not to mention giving said husband way more ammunition than anyone purportedly on the same side should have). In the midst of a war with him over not getting any free time, he says to me, with utmost sincerity, that he's struggling and just needs some peace in his house and compassion. It's only just dawning on me that the guy may be pretty trustworthy and that there's actually a chance we might grow old together (as opposed to my periodic daymares of being left behind to raise two cranky sleep deprived toddlers by myself while he rides off down A1A in a convertible with a blonde young enough to have been our daughter). I mean, his idea of misbehaving is to hang around the marinas looking at the yachts he can't have.
Same mother for nearly 40 years, just accused her of not wanting to hang out with me and finding me boring company. She's only been home for a few weeks after fighting for her life for the last 7 months with leukemia and is, quite understandably (that is if you're a human being instead of a lizard), feeling a little spacey.
Little children having too much fun to take a nap, I take it as a personal affront and am highly offended and struggling not to become irate. Not that I'm self-centered and mal-adjusted or anything. Good grief! Back to the self-help board. Surely there's something else out there besides Theresa of Avila or Brother Lawrence (or even Eknath Easwaran), because I can hardly bear to read them, knowing as I do that I'm going straight to hell....
I don't know what the heck's the matter with me. Married to the same man for the last 10 years and how often do I misjudge him? I can't answer that on the grounds that it might incriminate me (not to mention giving said husband way more ammunition than anyone purportedly on the same side should have). In the midst of a war with him over not getting any free time, he says to me, with utmost sincerity, that he's struggling and just needs some peace in his house and compassion. It's only just dawning on me that the guy may be pretty trustworthy and that there's actually a chance we might grow old together (as opposed to my periodic daymares of being left behind to raise two cranky sleep deprived toddlers by myself while he rides off down A1A in a convertible with a blonde young enough to have been our daughter). I mean, his idea of misbehaving is to hang around the marinas looking at the yachts he can't have.
Same mother for nearly 40 years, just accused her of not wanting to hang out with me and finding me boring company. She's only been home for a few weeks after fighting for her life for the last 7 months with leukemia and is, quite understandably (that is if you're a human being instead of a lizard), feeling a little spacey.
Little children having too much fun to take a nap, I take it as a personal affront and am highly offended and struggling not to become irate. Not that I'm self-centered and mal-adjusted or anything. Good grief! Back to the self-help board. Surely there's something else out there besides Theresa of Avila or Brother Lawrence (or even Eknath Easwaran), because I can hardly bear to read them, knowing as I do that I'm going straight to hell....
2 Comments:
Honey, you are hardly a candidate for the "all about me" award. In your circumstance right now (two very small children with very large and unremitting demands, job, hubby trying new and challenging venture, another job and a household to run), you're more in the "not an iota about me" position. Give yourself a break. XO me
in case you can't tell, the former post is from my mother - and why i'm leaving this comment i don't know since the only people reading this are my family
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